The Mom Hunt
I throw my hands in the air while muttering the words “You got to be fucking kidding?” Josh was in the driver's seat looking at me like he found his lost puppy that he accidentally let go. I could feel my body start to pump with anger and bad shit crazy bitch. Here I was on a night out that I imagine going completely different now my ex who didn’t bother letting me know he was in town is showing up, trying to give me a ride home! Fuck this I thought to myself and before I could give Josh a piece of my mind Amber jumped the gun.
“Is that lame face, no text douchebag Joshhhh I see with my eyesss?” Amber slurs while stumbling towards Josh’s vehicle swinging her arms around acting as if she was ready to put up a fight. “Glad you could show up cause turned up Amber is out tonight and I got some words to share!” Just as Amber was in the mid of her drunken confidence boost of telling Josh off her body misses a step and goes down like a sack of potatoes. Josh and I jump to help Amber from her fall when I suddenly stop to see where the other girls have gone, nowhere in sight. “Shit, where did they go?’ I look over to see Amber’s fall not only wipes out her drunken confidence but her ability to walk upright. As much as I wanted to say fuck it and have Amber and I catch a ride with Josh I knew I had to track down the moms.
“Josh I don’t have time to talk, I need to find Amber’s friends…would you mind taking Amber home and I will give you a call later?” After putting my feelings aside to ask for Josh’s help, he agrees to take Amber home to my surprise. I wasn’t sure if I was more pissed at Amber for inviting her mom friends that I now had to go hunt down or the fact Josh showed up? I had no idea where to even start looking for these bitches, I knew nothing about them other than the fact Miss Southern Bell Lindsay wanted to get her nose pierced. They wouldn’t have actually gone to the piercing shop would they have? My Uber driver finally arrives and I direct him to Charka Tattoo Shop that was located near 22nd street which was only a few blocks from the Oxford Hotel. If Lindsey was going to get her nose pierced this was the place since it’s the only one she mentioned over our drinking haze. I pull up to the aggressive open neon light when I spot the moms giggling like some school girls while Lindsay posing in the mirror. I dash into the store gave one look at Lindsay, it was too late…Lindsay’s nose was pierced.
“How you'all like my new bling? Lindsay’s new bling was a size of ladybug huge and distracting. Eventually, the vodka that was fueling this idea would vanish and Lindsay would wake up to a huge fake ass diamond sitting on the side of her nose. I shrugged and told her it looked classy, I know lying wasn’t nice to do but honestly I was getting humor from the ridiculous thing and I deserved a good laugh since I had to babysit the group and deal with running into Josh. For the last time, I gather the girls call us two Ubers one for them and one for me, this time if they don’t make it home it's on them.
Two o’clock in the morning and I’m finally home bound, thank god! As I walk pass the kitchen counter I see a note with my name on the front, I open the folded note that read, “Doll it’s me your Aunt Irene, I went to the hospital to see Darrell don’t wait up.” I toss the note to the side with a huge eye roll then shoot a text to Alessandro.
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