No Crop Tops, No Proposal
“Emmaaaaaa, Emmaaaaa…” I hear and feel the breathing smell of Krispy crème donuts coming down on my face as I lay in my comfy bed that makes you never want to leave for days, which can be a good and bad thing. “Doll you awake? I need to borrow a crop top of yours hopefully one in hot pink or even bright red would work.” My first thought was please let this be Amber coming into my apartment asking this ridiculous question, but no, I slowly open my eyes to Aunt Irene’s makeup ready face and the smell of Krispy crème donuts. “Hell no I do not own a crop top, why in the world would do you need one? Plus I wouldn’t pay full price for half a shirt where you have to suck in your fat and never be able to actually eat while wearing it? No offense Aunt Irene I think that style might be out of your age range.” Even though my Aunt Irene is in her sixties, she always did hold herself together pretty well but let’s be honest no one should be wearing a crop top, it wasn’t cool in the 90’s and sure as hell isn’t acceptable when you sixty-two. As I have no choice but to get my morning started due to the fact I’m dealing with a sixty-two-year-old wanting to borrow a crop top and getting after my “adulthood list.” My life wasn’t always so everywhere, up to last year I was in a committed relationship of three years where we shared my apartment together. His name was Josh and I was crazy about Josh. Josh was tall with shaggy light brown hair, he was always in shape, he was kind, thoughtful, fun, and he was the type that never took life to seriously. He was passionate about writing and traveling. I thought Josh and I were on our way to getting married and we would spend our lives traveling going on adventures while I kept building my company (that he talked me into pursuing) and he would keep writing for all different kinds of adventure/travel magazines. I felt like I had it all, awesome downtown apartment, the dream relationship, a brand new business that was growing and my appearance was still up kept, but then one evening like most late twenty something-year- old my life changed direction.
It was the middle of May that I received a phone call from Josh he sounded so excited and anxious that gave me a feeling of “This is it! This is the day he puts a ring on it.” I even remember blasting the Beyoncé song, “If you like it then you should put a ring on it.” We often talked about what our kids would look like and what kind of fabulous life we would have together, we were going to be well traveled people with unless stories to share with others. As I tried to keep myself grounded during the call Josh ended our conversation with telling me he would pick me up around seven for dinner. I hung up the phone feeling excited, I danced around my living room singing “He’s gonna put a ring on it.” Since I wasn’t one to get dolled up often, that night I put my best effort in looking spectacular for my future husband. I ended up wearing a nice tight sundress while sporting my only red pair of heels I owned with letting my long auburn hair hang in curls and just a dab of red lipstick to make a statement of “Yes I will be your wife.” Now looking back at that night I feel like a complete idiot.
Josh showed up at seven to pick me up at dinner he was wearing casual wear the look on his face when I stepped into his car wearing a dress and heels that he hardly ever witness me in, was priceless! At the time I thought it was the look of, “Oh Hell yes my future wife is looking fine,” little did I know how completely off I was...I took a seat, buckled up then we were off to Rackhouse Pub for dinner. I remember thinking…well shit, this isn’t romantic at all! Then I thought, wait he’s trying to throw me off, I get it now! Rackhouse pub was where we would go when we wanted to toss some beers back, eat some comfort food while sharing exciting news; it was our spot so I thought it actually made sense to get a proposal there, I mean it wouldn’t be my first pick of a place to get a proposal but hey whatever I was getting engaged!! Another time we celebrated at the Rackhouse was after I signed the paperwork to the lease space for my business. The more I let my mind race with this idea the more I became excited! I think at one point I started to look like the character from Shrek name Puss in Boots...you know the cat? Whenever Puss in Boots wanted something his eyes got all big and cute like you couldn’t say no? That was the look I gave every time Josh mentioned something because I knew in a matter of time I was going be engaged! The next half an hour of my life was a complete blur but the one part that was completely clear and still replays in my head in slow motion was the moment I made an ass out of myself and realizing how blind I was to the whole situation. This is what I remember...Josh was sitting right across from me looking the best he had ever looked, saying things like this was an exciting time in his life and I was the one person he couldn’t wait to share this moment with and right as he was mentioning his surprising news, I interpreted with “HELL yes you can put on a ring on it!” To both of our surprise Josh was not about to ask for me to be his wife and I was going home with no ring and worse…no boyfriend. Josh’s exciting news was he signed a two-year contract with a travel magazine company that would give him the opportunity to go around the world to write about these places everyone dreamed of seeing for themselves. I knew how hard Josh had worked to get this gig; I just couldn’t believe I thought I was getting a proposal at Rackhouse Pub. That night after I thought I was getting a proposal Josh felt like it was best to go our separate ways since getting hitched to me wasn’t anywhere near his radar. After feeling like the biggest dumbass and realizing I was now SINGLE again, I walked through my front door of my apartment threw away my red heels, wrapped myself up in my comforter, poured a huge glass of wine and cried my eyes out while standing in my kitchen. That next morning Josh came over to grab his things since he was catching a plane sooner than later to start his dream career, I proceeded my morning with climbing back into bed tears down my face while playing every sad/break up song known to mankind.
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