The Struggle is Real
After Aunt Irene settles in she finally crashes out on the couch then begins to snore like a wild beast as her lipstick melts down her face. I decide to get the hell out of my apartment to meet up with my best friend Amber for a much-needed lunch and mimosa since now my pizza was toast, “what does it take for a girl to get a meal around here today?” I say in annoyance as I walk out my front door. Amber and I became friends during our college days. We both attended the University of Denver, where we ended up sharing a dorm room together and ever since then we kept a close friendship. Amber chose a different route than I; she ended up finding her husband during our college years and now has two little creatures of her own.
“Hey, what's going on? What was the emergency? I just saw you less than 24 hours ago.” Before I could answer Amber, I scouted out the nearest waitress to order a stack of pancakes and a mimosa. “My Aunt Irene is posted right in my apartment and I’m fake preggers,” I blurt out. “Huh? What do you mean fake preggers, is that a thing? How long is she staying for, it’s not forever right? I’m sure your Aunt Irene is not nearly as bad as you think. ”Amber replies back with not much shock or concerned for my well-being. “No not forever three days max, but that’s not the point! Aunt Irene can do some serious damage in three days, I mean hell my frozen pizza ended up getting the shit burnt out of it because of her.” Finally, my stack of hot buttery pancakes and mimosa arrives and I take out my aggression on my heavenly pancakes! “Jesus Emma, take a breath! Listen you’re going to be fine! Plus you’re so busy with the store I’m sure you’re barely going to see her .”
As the warm syrup from my stack of hot cakes hits my mouth my worries of Aunt Irene disappear. “You’re right; I'm probably making something out of nothing. I guess how bad can her 3-day stay be?” As I swig down my mimosa feeling completely satisfied after my delicious breakfast I then gather my things and say my goodbye to Amber and that if she hasn’t heard from me in the next three days send out for help. “Wait you didn’t tell me the fake preggers part?” Still too happy from my food coma state of mind I reply with, “Let’s save that for another day...” I pull up to my apartment and decide it's time for a nap since this is the last day of lazy ways because tomorrow is when I start to reevaluate things and make changes! I open the door to my apartment and I see Aunt Irene is still passed out on the couch so I then tiptoed to my room to get some shut-eye. Hours later I wake up from my food coma nap and roll over to my cell phone to see what time it was, I see the time and the blank screen off no text messages from anyone. “Ugh, no contact from outside life,” not only was I reminded how single I was with no text messages from any form of romantic interest but also to notice I had spent most of my day sleeping it away. I roll into the middle of my bed laying on my back realizing I wasn’t dreaming about Aunt Irene popping up due to music playing and laughing echoing in the kitchen. I pull my body out of bed throw my auburn hair up in a messy bun makeup free while dressed in some old college t-shirt and sweat pants I decide to make my way to the kitchen. “Here is me I was in the cirque Du Soleil show, they said they haven’t seen anyone that could do as many tricks as me, Oh and Neil Diamond asked me out while I was there.” I hear my Aunt say to someone else that was hanging in my rustic kitchen. “Aunt Irene what and who are you talking too,” I asked as I slowly moved into the kitchen seeing a man’s back facing me I hear, “Oh Emma!!! I was on my way to go get a new set of eyelashes when I found this nice gentleman outside your apartment and I thought you two would hit it off, so I Invited him in for a glass of wine.” I stared at my Aunt when my right eye starting to do that twitching thing again and I could feel my blood began to boil. I was on the edge of losing my shit when the man slowly turned around in the chair and introduces himself as Alessandro the Italian beauty that was an architect. He didn’t say “Italian beauty” part but that's all I kept thinking to myself. He comes up to me with a warm smile and gentle handshake. I couldn’t help but take a mental note of his strong arms, shoulders and olive skin. “Hi...I’m...I’m Emma...Sorry, I wasn’t expecting company.” I was mesmerized by this gorgeous being! How in the hell did my Aunt Irene do something right?? “Doll come here you have something on your face it’s on your forehead come here let me wipe it off.” My Aunt says while rubbing the shit out of my forehead in front of this beautiful man. My Aunt continues making a scene out of my forehead when I realized I have no makeup on and I’m wearing digesting sweats...I need to escape to my bathroom ASAP, Italian beauty can’t see this! ”Huh look at that...nothings there but a good old age dark spot, nothing a little laser treatment can’t fix,” did my Aunt really just say this right now?? I push my aunt to the side then to make a run to the bathroom. I slide into my bathroom in full panic mode trying to locate my make bag to cover this age spot, but I have no idea where I could have put my bag! Here I am panicking like a crazy woman as if I have been released from a mental institution not seeing my bag in sight. After tearing my bathroom apart, I remember my makeup bag was in my purse from the night before, “Shit, shit, shit. How am I going to casually pull this off??” I open the door from my bathroom and started to tip toe my way into the kitchen/living room when I noticed Italian beauty was gone! “Aunt Irene what happened to Alessandro??” I ask in a relieved but bummed out tone. “Oh! He had to go...he didn’t say why? Maybe that dark spot scared him off” she winks at me. “Okay? Well did he leave a number, a card or anything???” I ask, thinking once again the universe is playing a sick joke on me! “Now that you mentioned it, no he didn’t maybe he has a girlfriend or something?” I stand in my kitchen still make up free but this time with a red mark from the rubbing of my aunt. “Aunt Irene you didn’t ask him if he had a girlfriend before you invited him into my apartment??” I roll my eyes at Aunt Irene take a glass of wine to my room and add schedule laser facial appointment to the list of things to do tomorrow.
Ⓒcopyright 2016
